Saturday, May 3, 2008

Breaking Up Is Really Hard To Do

Picture from here

It's embarrassing that I'm in such a sad state right now. I have no mood to do anything. No mood to eat, no mood to read, no mood to watch TV, no mood to sleep (unless I'm feeling extremely drowsy), but luckily I still have the mood to blog. It seems that writing is a kind of special therapy. It helps the writer when she's depressed, sad, suffering from grief, etc. I started this blog because I was angry about 2 or 3 years ago. Guess I got my inspiration to write and it's all due to how I felt.

All right. Breaking up. I hate it. I've broken up many times with the same guy before. He's my first guy, by the way, and he always told me that we'd be forever. I was skeptical each time he said that. Well, looks like forever only lasted for 3 years. Yup, that's how long we've been together. We did break up a few times but always got back together. He would come begging me to take him back. He did beg me to take him back this time but I was not sure. He was the one who initiated the break up last Saturday!

I'm not the perfect girlfriend and I don't know what more he wants from me. He says that I don't love him enough or show concern for him. I'm not caring, loving, or understanding. Last Saturday, I felt like I've been kicked in the teeth when he told me that he's leaving me. That time was the time when I needed him most as something unfortunate had happened to me (I won't say what it was but it's really bad and sad). And he decided to dump me! Later, he claimed that he's drunk at the time and kept apologizing and begging me to accept him as my guy again.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what to do now. So far, we've only communicated via SMS and I don't think it's a good idea but I can't really meet him face to face now. There's no time for that. Communicating through SMS isn't that effective I think. It's slow and it's not really interpersonal.

I'll need to try to keep myself occupied and not think of him too often.


-Princess Shin- said...

I hope everything turns out ok for you. Most importantly though, we have to be happy ourselves first. Never hope for the guy to complete you. You are happy yourself without needing a guy.

Hope this helps! =) Take care!

Miss Positive said...

Hi there,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'll try to keep that in mind. Some guys are just not for keeps.